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dj_excy
Advanced Member
United Kingdom
2,004 posts
Joined: Jun, 2004
205 hardcore releases
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 Posted - 2004/06/08 : 14:43:44
i thought this was a good 1 lmao
An Italian, French and Indian went for a job interview in England. Before the interview, they were told that they must compose a sentence in English with three main words: green, pink and yellow.
The Italian was first: "I wake up in the morning. I see the yellow sun. see the green grass and I think to myself, I hope it will be a pink day."
The French was next: " I wake up in the morning, I eat a yellow banana, a green pepper and in the evening I watch the pink panther on TV.
Last was the Indian: "I wake up in the morning, I hear the phone "green green", I "pink" up the phone and I say "Yellow"
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Live Every Tuesday 7-8pm uk time
www.Kniteforce-Radio.com
Hardcore is Life!
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DJ Mole
Advanced Member
United Kingdom
1,505 posts
Joined: Jan, 2004
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Posted - 2004/06/08 : 14:46:47
what u doin wrong ur just adding 2 1 post IM CONFUSED 
3 top tunes atm are:
1.Scott Brown & Cat Knight - All About You
2.Brisk & Brown - Back & Fourth
3.Breeze & Styles - Electric
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Excessive
Advanced Member
United Kingdom
584 posts
Joined: Apr, 2004
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Posted - 2004/06/08 : 14:56:14
Hey Excy, it looks like you have been on every joke website in existence. Surely you have better things to do than taking someone elses jokes and passing them off as your own?
It don't matter who are or what you do, HARDCORE is for you.
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If you liked this post why not get up and do a dance in honour of it.
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dj_excy
Advanced Member
United Kingdom
2,004 posts
Joined: Jun, 2004
205 hardcore releases
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Posted - 2004/06/08 : 15:03:58
hey its obvious there not mine but some of them are and i havent been on neweb sites i get them sent 2 me in my emails thanx
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Live Every Tuesday 7-8pm uk time
www.Kniteforce-Radio.com
Hardcore is Life!
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dj_excy
Advanced Member
United Kingdom
2,004 posts
Joined: Jun, 2004
205 hardcore releases
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Posted - 2004/06/08 : 15:23:44
Some tourists in the Chicago Museum of Natural History are marveling at the dinosaur bones. One of them asks the guard, "Can you tell me how old the dinosaur bones are?"
The guard replies, "They are 3 million, four years, and six months old."
"That's an awfully exact number," says the tourist. "How do you know their age so precisely?"
The guard answers, "Well, the dinosaur bones were three million years old when I started working here, and that was four and a half years ago."
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There was a boy standing on a corner selling fish. He was saying "Dam fish for sale, dam fish for sale."
A preacher walked up to him and asked why he was calling them dam fish? The kid said, "I caught them at the dam, so they're dam fish."
The preacher bought some, took them home and asked his wife to "cook the dam fish".
His wife looked at him in bewilderment and said, "Preachers aren't supposed to talk like that." So the preacher explained to her why they were dam fish, and she agreed to cook them.
When dinner was ready and everyone was sitting down the preacher asked his son to pass him the dam fish.
His son replied, "Cool, that's the spirit dad. Do you mind passing me the f*ucking potatoes?"
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Walking up to a department store's fabric counter, a pretty girl asked:
"I want to buy this material for a dress. How much does it cost?"
"Only one kiss per metre" replied the smirking male clerk.
"That's fine," replied the girl. "I'll take ten metres."
With expectation and anticipation written all over his face, the clerk quickly measured out and wrapped the cloth, then teasingly held it out.
The girl snapped up the package and pointed to a little old man standing beside her, "Grandpa will pay the bill," she smiled.
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As the elderly man lay dying in his bed, death's agony was suddenly pushed aside as he smelled the aroma of his favorite homemade chocolate chip cookies wafting up the stairs.
Gathering his remaining strength, he lifted himself from the bed. Leaning against the wall, he slowly made his way out of the bedroom, and with intense concentration, supported himself down the stairs, gripping the railing with both hands. In labored breath, he leaned against the door frame, gazing wide-eyed into the kitchen.
There, spread out upon newspapers on the kitchen table were literally HUNDREDS of his favorite chocolate chip cookies! Was it heaven? Or, was it one final act of heroic love from his devoted wife, seeing to it that he left this world a happy man? Mustering one great final effort, he threw himself toward the table, landing on his knees in a rumpled posture, one hand on the edge of the table.
The aged and withered hand quiveringly made its way to a cookie near the edge of the table; feeling the warm soft dough actually made the pain of his bones subside for a moment. His parched lips parted; the wondrous taste of the cookie was already in his mouth; seemingly bringing him back to life.
What, then, was this sudden stinging that caused his hand to recoil? He looked to see his wife, still holding the spatula she had just used to smack his hand.
"Stay out of those!" she said, "they're for the funeral."
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Live Every Tuesday 7-8pm uk time
www.Kniteforce-Radio.com
Hardcore is Life!
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DJILLUZION
New Member
United Kingdom
75 posts
Joined: Mar, 2001
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Posted - 2004/06/09 : 00:51:06
to tell you the truth, i dont see the fuss that people made when michael jackson dangled the baby over the balcony. He usually just tosses them off.
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DJ Mole
Advanced Member
United Kingdom
1,505 posts
Joined: Jan, 2004
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Posted - 2004/06/09 : 00:56:46
ROFLMFAO
3 top tunes atm are:
1.CLSM - Free Your Mind (Sy & Unknown Remix)
2.Brisk & Brown - Back & Fourth
3.Gammer - Can't Compete
All scots must go to Totally Bonkers Live 31st July, Carling Academy, 9pm - 3am (Hixxy,Sharkey,B&S,Scott Brown)
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Cyborgasm
Advanced Member
Canada
678 posts
Joined: May, 2004
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Posted - 2004/06/09 : 01:28:36
it was a hard battle but we won
two against ten thousand
what a bloody battle
those were the toughest two i ever fought
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Anything Below 300BPM is for Pussies
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silver
Admin
Japan
12,564 posts
Joined: Feb, 2001
894 hardcore releases
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Posted - 2004/06/09 : 04:23:16
I was talking to dj excy because of this:
Posted - 2004/06/08 : 10:33:41
Posted - 2004/06/08 : 10:36:01
Posted - 2004/06/08 : 10:38:08
Posted - 2004/06/08 : 10:40:26
Posted - 2004/06/08 : 10:42:00
Posted - 2004/06/08 : 10:43:18
Posted - 2004/06/08 : 10:45:22
Posted - 2004/06/08 : 10:48:53
Posted - 2004/06/08 : 10:54:53
When one post is fine - if you are flooding the boards with post after post in order to get your post count up then STOP because I will delete your posts and return your post count to zero. There are a ton of people on the site that have been here for 4-5 years and have thousands of posts you will never catch up because they have been here longer than other people - so please don't post BS in order to try to catch up.
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it's all hardcore.
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Squishy Star
Advanced Member
United States
2,242 posts
Joined: Mar, 2004
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Posted - 2004/06/09 : 04:29:17
Excy, relax a bit on all the jokes.
When I checked out the previous page, it was like woah! 0.0 lol
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"i want to create a world, a world full of colour; where everyone can play. like one big party that never ends,"
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dj_excy
Advanced Member
United Kingdom
2,004 posts
Joined: Jun, 2004
205 hardcore releases
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Posted - 2004/06/09 : 10:30:36
ok soz guys
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Live Every Tuesday 7-8pm uk time
www.Kniteforce-Radio.com
Hardcore is Life!
------------------------------
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DJ Mole
Advanced Member
United Kingdom
1,505 posts
Joined: Jan, 2004
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Posted - 2004/06/09 : 13:53:15
quote:
Originally posted by silver:
I was talking to dj excy because of this:
Posted - 2004/06/08 : 10:33:41
Posted - 2004/06/08 : 10:36:01
Posted - 2004/06/08 : 10:38:08
Posted - 2004/06/08 : 10:40:26
Posted - 2004/06/08 : 10:42:00
Posted - 2004/06/08 : 10:43:18
Posted - 2004/06/08 : 10:45:22
Posted - 2004/06/08 : 10:48:53
Posted - 2004/06/08 : 10:54:53
When one post is fine - if you are flooding the boards with post after post in order to get your post count up then STOP because I will delete your posts and return your post count to zero. There are a ton of people on the site that have been here for 4-5 years and have thousands of posts you will never catch up because they have been here longer than other people - so please don't post BS in order to try to catch up.
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it's all hardcore.
I thought that yer post count only goes up by each topic u release
3 top tunes atm are:
1.CLSM - Free Your Mind (Sy & Unknown Remix)
2.Brisk & Brown - Back & Fourth
3.Gammer - Can't Compete
All scots must go to Totally Bonkers Live 31st July, Carling Academy, 9pm - 3am (Hixxy,Sharkey,B&S,Scott Brown)
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Edited by - DJ Mole on 2004/06/09 13:53:53 |
dj_excy
Advanced Member
United Kingdom
2,004 posts
Joined: Jun, 2004
205 hardcore releases
|
Posted - 2004/06/10 : 12:10:37
Little Johnny goes to school one day and the teacher has a brown paper bag
She reaches her hand in it and says it's round, it's got a stem, and it's got a leaf.
Little Johnny raises his hand and says it's an apple, it's an apple.
Then he says now let me give you one.
He reaches his hand in his pocket and says it's round, it's hard , and it's got a head.
The teacher says Ohh Johnny that's grose.
Little Johnny says no it's a quater but I like the way you're thinking.
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One day the teacher walked to the back of the room where Johnny was, and he had his hand down his pants.
The Teacher asked, "Johnny, what are you doing?"
Then, Johnny said, "It hurts down there."
"Well then, you need to go to the nurse and see if you can go home", said the teacher.
A little while later, Johnny came back to classroom and sat back down.
Then the teacher came to the back of the room again, and he had his dick haging out of his pants.
The teacher said, "Johnny, what's that doing hanging out of your pants?!"
Then Johnny said, "My mommy said if I can stick it out until noon, she'll come and pick me up."
KEEP HARDCORE ALIVE 4EVER!!
__________________________________
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Live Every Tuesday 7-8pm uk time
www.Kniteforce-Radio.com
Hardcore is Life!
------------------------------
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Edited by - dj_excy on 2004/06/10 12:13:48 |
Dean86
Senior Member
United Kingdom
273 posts
Joined: Apr, 2004
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Posted - 2004/06/10 : 12:17:21
ha those two were good 1s
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dj_excy
Advanced Member
United Kingdom
2,004 posts
Joined: Jun, 2004
205 hardcore releases
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Posted - 2004/06/10 : 12:19:05
here i got some more 4 ya ;)
Little Johnny goes to school, and the teacher says, 'Today we are going to learn multi-syllable words, class. Does anybody have an example of a multi-syllable word?'
Little Johnny waves his hand, 'Me, Miss Rogers, me, me!'
Miss Rogers:'All right, little Johnny, what is your multi-syllable word?'
Little Johnny says, 'Mas-tur-bate.'
Miss Rogers smiles and says, 'Wow, little Johnny, that's a mouthful.'
Little Johnny says, 'No, Miss Rogers, you're thinking of a blowjob".
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In school one day, the teacher decided that in science class she would teach about the elements. So she stood in the front of the class and said, "Children, if you could have one raw element in the world what would it be?"
Little Stevie raised his hand and said, "I would want gold, because gold is worth a lot of money and I could buy a Porsche."
The teacher nodded and called on little Susie.
Little Susie said, "I would want platinum, because platinum is worth more than gold and I could buy a Corvette"
The teacher smiled and then called on Little Johnny.
Little Johnny stood up and said, "I would want silicon."
The teacher said, "Why Johnny?"
He responded by saying, "Because my mom has two bags of it and you should see all the sports cars outside our house!"
KEEP HARDCORE ALIVE 4EVER!!
__________________________________
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Live Every Tuesday 7-8pm uk time
www.Kniteforce-Radio.com
Hardcore is Life!
------------------------------
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Edited by - dj_excy on 2004/06/10 12:22:53 |
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