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bigmaddaz
Senior Member
United Kingdom
330 posts
Joined: May, 2004
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 Posted - 2004/05/11 : 16:12:59
The girl was supposed to write a short story in as few words as possible for her college class and the instructions were that it had to discuss Religion, Sexuality and Mystery. She was the only one who received an A+ and this is what she wrote:
Good God, I'm pregnant, I wonder who did it.
HARDCORE NEVER DIES
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Edited by - bigmaddaz on 2004/05/28 16:17:54 |
DJ Mole
Advanced Member
United Kingdom
1,505 posts
Joined: Jan, 2004
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Posted - 2004/05/11 : 16:15:33
lol not bad
Join He Who Walks Behind The Rose
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capone13
Advanced Member
United Kingdom
1,302 posts
Joined: Mar, 2004
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 Posted - 2004/05/11 : 16:44:31
Not the worst joke i've heard. It's not 2 bad.
DJ J-me
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Excessive
Advanced Member
United Kingdom
584 posts
Joined: Apr, 2004
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 Posted - 2004/05/11 : 16:55:08
Not bad, not bad I have heard alot worse. i.e: 2 DJ's talking, one says fancy coming to the cinema tonight? The other says I dunno who is the projectionist? See told it was worse.
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KID_PIRAHNA
Senior Member
United States
275 posts
Joined: Aug, 2003
87 hardcore releases
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Posted - 2004/05/11 : 17:24:49
I'm bored and since we're posting jokes, here's my contribution.......
What did one tampon say to the other tampon?
Nothing! They were both stuck-up b!tches!!!!
    
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Dash
Junior Member
United States
116 posts
Joined: Nov, 2003
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Posted - 2004/05/11 : 17:35:18
what do you call a dj without a girlfriend?
Homeless
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sexy_Rhi_Rhi
Advanced Member
United Kingdom
567 posts
Joined: Apr, 2004
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 Posted - 2004/05/11 : 18:02:44
lmao the tampon one's a goodun ....i got a goodun..u lot n prob fink its shit tho but what can i say..im easily amused:)lol..right here we go
oncew upon a time there was a woman that wanted a kid reall really badly but she cudnt have kids cos she was a minger n no1 wud shag her..so 1 day she was walkin down the street n she found a smarties tube..she picked it up n found sum spunk inside..so 2 her delight she took it down the doctors str8 away and they impreganated her(if thas how u spell it)9months later..she had a little girl..6yrs later the little girl turned round and sed 2 her minging mommy.."mummy wheres my daddy?"& mum replied..
only smarties have the answer!
~*RaVeReSs BaBeH*~
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~*RaVeReSs BaBeH*~
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capone13
Advanced Member
United Kingdom
1,302 posts
Joined: Mar, 2004
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 Posted - 2004/05/11 : 18:09:51
Alwright SEXY. Thats pretty good!!
Who told u that 1?
DJ J-me
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Dave Murray
Advanced Member
United Kingdom
3,675 posts
Joined: Jan, 2003
136 hardcore releases
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Posted - 2004/05/11 : 18:38:48
Sick joke ... Wasnt me who thought of this but anyway
David Beckham recently accused Victoria of having an affair with Michael Jackson, but Michael Jackson said he was in Brooklyn at the time.
Scofff Meh.
Nothing to do with me ayeeee.
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Searchin For Reality
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mark-ireland
Advanced Member
Ireland
1,667 posts
Joined: Jan, 2004
17 hardcore releases
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Posted - 2004/05/11 : 18:58:12
^^^^^HAHA thats a deadly one.
mark-ireland
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whispering
Moderator
Finland
8,453 posts
Joined: Nov, 2002
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Posted - 2004/05/11 : 19:06:56
http://www.insults.net Not really jokes, but some important things like how to say "suck my dick, you ****ed faggot!" in french.
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JesterDJ
Advanced Member
United Kingdom
1,486 posts
Joined: Apr, 2003
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Posted - 2004/05/11 : 19:14:23
ok i got some supremely crap ones so i won't say more than one as i do not wish to be held responsable for the onslaught of spam slagging me off about how shit they all are so here is just the one.
A duck walks into a bar and says to the bartender... "EXCUSE ME, BARMAN, GOT ANY CRACKERS?"... the barman turns to him confused and says "no this is a pub we don't sell crackers, sorry mate"...
the next day, the same duck returns to the same pub and asks again, "EXCUSE ME, BARMAN, GOT ANY CRACKERS?"... the barman really begins to lose his says "LOOK I TOLD YOU YESTERDAY WE DON'T SELL CRACKERS, NOW PISS OFF!!!"
The next day, the duck comes back and says "EXCUSE ME, BARMAN..." before he finishes, the barman says..."RIGHT THATS IT, IF U ASK ME ONE MORE TIME I'M GONNA FIND THE BIGGEST HAMMER I CAN FIND AND NAIL YOUR ****ING FEET TO THE BAR, NOW PISS OFF!"
He returns again and says "EXCUSE ME BARMAN, YOU GOT A HAMMER?"...
the barman really confused says "no?"
the duck says "THEN YA GOT ANY CRACKERS?!"
see? told you it was shit but it was a good waste of 10 minutes for me...
If pac-man really had an effect on us, we'd all be runnin' round in dark rooms, listening to repetitive music and munching pills!!!
*.*Jester*.*
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JESTER, n. An officer formerly attached to a king's household, whose business it was to amuse the court by ludicrous actions and utterances, the absurdity being attested by his motley costume.
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liquid_silver
Junior Member
Canada
97 posts
Joined: Apr, 2003
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Posted - 2004/05/11 : 22:13:20
i'll share mine i heard it at the pub last night.
k, theres a woman in the grocery store, she puts her food up on the check-out counter and this drunk lines up behind her. he looks at her then her grocerys and says u must be single the woman looks at him looks back at her stuff trying to figure out how he knows this,she says yes i'm how do u know. the drunk looks at her and says cause ur f**kin ugly.
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pulse crew baby,
straight outta left field
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DJ Vibalrush
Average Member
United Kingdom
233 posts
Joined: Oct, 2003
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Posted - 2004/05/11 : 22:48:27
*Young timmy is fed up with his small bicycle, so he begs mummy to let him ride on his big brothers mountain bike.
But mummy sez "im sorry timmy but your not mature enough yet, if you can prove your maturity then you can ride your brothers mountain bike"
"how can i prove that?" replies timmy,
"if you manage to sleep with your english teacher, then you can ride your brothers bike."
A year passes, when one day timmy comes home with a big smile on his face.
"Why are you looking so happy?" asks mummy,
"Well mummy, today i finally slept with my english teacher!" he beams,
"Well done son" mummy replies, "You have proven yourself, you can now ride you brothers mountain bike"
"I cant" sez timmy,
"why not?" asks mummy
"Because my @$$ is hurting"
*as we go a little something like this...hit it!*
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When the door bell goes, why do dogs always think its for them??
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Dj Mynd Tryck
Junior Member
United States
146 posts
Joined: Feb, 2004
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Posted - 2004/05/11 : 23:31:14
um hahahaha..... yeah
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Charco
Advanced Member
Ireland
1,979 posts
Joined: Nov, 2001
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Posted - 2004/05/12 : 02:33:55
I got a few bad ones:
A Hen walks into the library, goes up to the desk and goes "Buk,buk,buk",
The librarian looks amazed and gives the hen a book.
The hen goes off with the book under her wing, then 15 mins later goes back:
"buk,buk,buk". Again amazed: the librarian gives the hen a few books and the hen waddles over to the desk with the books.
A few minutes later, A frog came in and sat beside the hen.
The hen goes "buk,buk,buk"
The frog replies "read-it,read-it,read-it"!!
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Paddy Englishman, Paddy Irishman and Paddy Scotchman all walk into a Pub and the barman says "What the f*ck's this?! A joke???"
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There's a pub with only George Bush, Tony Blair and a Dog- other than that the bars empty.
Suddenly a man comes running into the pub and lifts the dogs tail....
Tony and George look confused and ask the man what he's at....
The man replies: "I've just been told that there's a dog in here with two asholes!!!"
......told you they were bad haha 
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Human beings, vegetables, or comic dust, we all dance to a mysterious tune, intoned in the distance by an invisible player.
Who discovered we could get milk from cows, and what did he THINK he was doing at the time?
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