| Author |
Thread |
|
Dean86
Senior Member
United Kingdom
273 posts
Joined: Apr, 2004
|
 Posted - 2004/05/12 : 18:01:17
Ha 2 funny your right mine was pathetic ill hold my head in shame for that.
Oh i read in the paper the other week the first test tube baby was born his first words were my dads a wanker.
Alert moderator 
|
djsytronik
Advanced Member
United Kingdom
883 posts
Joined: Mar, 2004
|
Posted - 2004/05/12 : 18:35:05
lol. God I am so sad...I really do laugh @ these jokes
==============
DJ Sytronik
www.dabassline.com
Drum And Bass N Hardcore In Da Place
Alert moderator
|
JesterDJ
Advanced Member
United Kingdom
1,486 posts
Joined: Apr, 2003
|
Posted - 2004/05/12 : 21:14:22
hang on a minute i thought the joke was why did the dinosaur cross the road? coz chickens weren't around yet. was it not?
man i sounded like a ****ing ponce there [:P]
If pac-man really had an effect on us, we'd all be runnin' round in dark rooms, listening to repetitive music and munching pills!!!
*.*Jester*.*
__________________________________
JESTER, n. An officer formerly attached to a king's household, whose business it was to amuse the court by ludicrous actions and utterances, the absurdity being attested by his motley costume.
Help your favourite charity for free - www.everyclick.com
Alert moderator
|
Em Jay
Advanced Member
United Kingdom
1,727 posts
Joined: Apr, 2004
|
Posted - 2004/05/12 : 22:00:43
dont u all really hate jokes that waste 10 minutes of your life!! heres a good example!!
(this is possibly the crappyest joke EVER!!)
this bloke had loved tractors ever since he was a young child, playing with his toys then growing up working on a farm at the age of 16, he soon lost interest as he lost his job... 10 years on an event was being held at the NEC in birmingham. a tractor show, this bloke thought straight away "i gotta go to this" so off he went he was having such fun, and couldnt resist the temptation and climbed on board one of the tractors on show, he started to mimick his old boss and started bibbing the horn, very quicky the security arrived and told him to get off. he tried to drive a second tractor then third but everytime he was chucked off, he thought to himself "f**k this i'm goin to the pub" he went over the road and asked the barman for a pint. then realised he had no money, so made a bet with the barman and said "look right if i clear all the smoke out of this room, will you give me a pint" the barman agreed so the bloke went round the whole room with one large breath and exhaled out of the window, he went bak to the bar and the bar man was shocked and said "how the hell did u do that?" the bloke replied "i'm an Ex-Tractor Fan"
told you it was awful
lol
your my angel, your the only sunshine in my life, feels like heaven when you take me in your arms...
__________________________________
:.Cheezy Quavers.:
Alert moderator
|
Splix
Advanced Member
Australia
572 posts
Joined: Jul, 2003
|
Posted - 2004/05/13 : 05:18:03
crap joke for ya again 
1.Whats do u get when u put a chicken with a yoyo...a chicken who lays 3 of the same eggs!
------------------------------------------------------------
Hardcore is life , Life is hardcore
------------------------------------------------------------
Alert moderator
|
bigmaddaz
Senior Member
United Kingdom
330 posts
Joined: May, 2004
|
Posted - 2004/05/13 : 10:16:04
Hey emmy thats pretty good lol
HARDCORE NEVER DIES
__________________________________
HARDCORE NEVER DIES!!!!!
Alert moderator
|
bigmaddaz
Senior Member
United Kingdom
330 posts
Joined: May, 2004
|
Posted - 2004/05/13 : 10:56:48
quote:
Originally posted by Emmy:
dont u all really hate jokes that waste 10 minutes of your life!! heres a good example!!
OK this 1 is bout half hour long lol and its shit lol
A guy is browsing in a pet shop and sees a parrot sitting on a little
perch. It doesn't have any feet or legs. The guy says aloud; "Jeesh. I
wonder what happened to this Parrot?"
The parrot says, "I was born this way. I'm a defective parrot."
Good Grief!" the guy replies. "You actually understood and answered me!"
"I got every word," says the parrot. "I happen to be a highly
intelligent, thoroughly educated bird."
"Oh yeah?" the guy asks, "Then, answer this - how do you hang onto your
perch without any feet?"
"Well," the parrot says, "this is very embarrassing but since you asked, I
wrap my willie around this wooden bar like a little hook. You can't see it
because of my feathers."
"Wow" says the guy, "you really can understand and speak English, can't
you!?"
"Actually, I speak both Spanish and English and I can converse with
reasonable competence on almost any topic: politics, religion, sports,
physics, philosophy. I'm especially good at ornithology. You really ought
to buy me. I'd be a great companion."
The guy looks at the $200 price tag. "Sorry, but I just can't afford that."
"Pssssssst" says the parrot, "I'm defective, so the truth is, nobody wants
me cause I don't have any feet. You can probably get me for $20, just make
the guy an offer!"
The guy offers $20 and walks out with the parrot.
Weeks go by. The parrot is sensational. He has a great sense of humour,
he's interesting, he's a great pal, he understands everything, he
sympathizes, and he's insightful. The guy is delighted.
One day the guy comes home from work and the parrot goes
"Psssssssssssst" and motions him over with one wing. "I don't know if I
should tell you this or not, but it's about your wife and the postman."
"What are you talking about?" asks the guy.
"When the postman delivered today, your wife greeted him at the door in a
sheer black negligee and kissed him passionately."
"WHAT???" the guy asks incredulously. "THEN what
happened?"
"Well, then the postman came into the house and lifted up her negligee,
kissing and petting her all over" reported the parrot.
"No!" he exclaims. "Then what?"
"He got down on his knees and continued to kiss her all over, starting with
her breasts and slowly going down...."
"WELL???" demands the frantic guy, "THEN WHAT HAPPENED?"
"Buggered if I know. I got a hard-on and fell off my perch!"
HARDCORE NEVER DIES
__________________________________
HARDCORE NEVER DIES!!!!!
Alert moderator
|
Lazerath
Senior Member
United Kingdom
276 posts
Joined: Jan, 2004
|
Posted - 2004/05/13 : 11:42:41
Bloody long but well worth it!!!!
damn this thread is getting good!
Hardcore Forever. True And Thru. Never Let It End.
__________________________________
--------They've tried to stop us before, but now they've failed.------ ------------------ HARDCORE WILL NEVER DIE!.-----------------
Alert moderator
|
bigmaddaz
Senior Member
United Kingdom
330 posts
Joined: May, 2004
|
Posted - 2004/05/13 : 11:47:06
lol i thought it was well funnt wen i first heard it
HARDCORE NEVER DIES
__________________________________
HARDCORE NEVER DIES!!!!!
Alert moderator
|
fee
Starting Member
United Kingdom
16 posts
Joined: May, 2004
|
Posted - 2004/05/13 : 12:38:07
A married couple are driving along when they see a wounded skunk on the side of the road. They stop, the wife gets out, picks it up, and brings it into
the car. She says, "Look, it's shivering, it must be cold. What should I do?" >> >> > > >Her husband replies "Put it between your legs to keep itwarm." >She asks, "What about the smell?" He says, "Hold its nose."
BOOOOOO!!!!!
Alert moderator
|
bigmaddaz
Senior Member
United Kingdom
330 posts
Joined: May, 2004
|
Posted - 2004/05/13 : 12:43:41
i thought that would have been abit more amusing lol
HARDCORE NEVER DIES
__________________________________
HARDCORE NEVER DIES!!!!!
Alert moderator
|
bigmaddaz
Senior Member
United Kingdom
330 posts
Joined: May, 2004
|
Posted - 2004/05/13 : 13:19:37
I got 1 4 ya ppl
Things a Man Would Do if He Woke up with a Vagina
10. Immediately go shopping for a vibrator
9. Squat over a hand-held mirror for an hour and a half
8. See if he could finally do a split
7. See if it's truly possible to launch a ping-pong ball 20 feet
6. Cross his legs without rearranging his crotch
5. Get picked up in a bar in less than 20 minutes
4. Have consecutive multiple orgasms and still be ready for more without sleeping first
3. Go to the gynecologist for a pelvic exam and ask to have it recorded on video
2. Sit on the edge of the bed and pray for breasts too
1. Finally find that damn G-Spot
Things a Woman Would Do if She Woke up with a Penis
10. Get ahead faster in the corporate world
9. Get a blowjob
8. Find out what is so fascinating about "beating the meat"
7. Pee standing up
6. Determine WHY you can't hit the bowl consistently
5. Find out what it is like to be on the other end of a surging orgasm
4. Touch/shift herself in public without a thought as to how improper it might seem
3. Jump up and down naked with an erection to see if it feels as funny as it looks
2. Understand the scientific reason for the light refraction that occurs between a man's eyes and the ruler situated next to his member, which causes two inches to be added to the final measurement
1. Repeat #9
lol
HARDCORE NEVER DIES
__________________________________
HARDCORE NEVER DIES!!!!!
Alert moderator
Edited by - bigmaddaz on 2004/05/13 13:20:37 |
Lazerath
Senior Member
United Kingdom
276 posts
Joined: Jan, 2004
|
Posted - 2004/05/13 : 14:39:48
I'm sure your just nicking these from sumwhere!
Hardcore Forever. True And Thru. Never Let It End.
__________________________________
--------They've tried to stop us before, but now they've failed.------ ------------------ HARDCORE WILL NEVER DIE!.-----------------
Alert moderator
|
KID_PIRAHNA
Senior Member
United States
275 posts
Joined: Aug, 2003
87 hardcore releases
|
 Posted - 2004/05/13 : 16:37:11
A man walks up to a woman in his office each day, stands very close to her, draws in a large breath of air and tells her that her hair smells nice. After a week of this, she can't stand it any longer, and goes to Human Resources. Without identifying the guy, she tells them what the coworker does, and that she wants to file a sexual harassment suit against him.
The HR supervisor is puzzled by this approach, and asks, "What is sexually threatening about a coworker telling you your hair smells nice? The woman replies,
"It's Keith...... the midget."
__________________________________
__________________
"Don't Touch That Squirrel's Nuts!"
Alert moderator
|
bigmaddaz
Senior Member
United Kingdom
330 posts
Joined: May, 2004
|
Posted - 2004/05/14 : 10:04:20
Hey ppl i got a really shit joke.
Why did the chicken cross the playground?
To get to the other slide.
HARDCORE NEVER DIES
__________________________________
HARDCORE NEVER DIES!!!!!
Alert moderator
|
Printer friendly
