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Thread |
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Splix
Advanced Member
Australia
572 posts
Joined: Jul, 2003
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 Posted - 2004/05/26 : 04:46:41
lol i think u posted all of the known jokes in the world dude 
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bigmaddaz
Senior Member
United Kingdom
330 posts
Joined: May, 2004
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Posted - 2004/05/26 : 09:58:03
not quite but it close lol
HARDCORE NEVER DIES!!!!
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bigmaddaz
Senior Member
United Kingdom
330 posts
Joined: May, 2004
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Posted - 2004/05/26 : 09:59:47
not quite but its a close 1 lol
HARDCORE NEVER DIES!!!!
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Dean86
Senior Member
United Kingdom
273 posts
Joined: Apr, 2004
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Posted - 2004/05/26 : 13:36:04
Ha more
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bigmaddaz
Senior Member
United Kingdom
330 posts
Joined: May, 2004
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Posted - 2004/05/26 : 13:43:08
yea theres loads more jokes here lol
HARDCORE NEVER DIES!!!!
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Edited by - bigmaddaz on 2004/05/26 13:43:54 |
bigmaddaz
Senior Member
United Kingdom
330 posts
Joined: May, 2004
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Posted - 2004/05/27 : 10:27:35
i take it no1 likes my jokes 
HARDCORE NEVER DIES!!!!
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Dean86
Senior Member
United Kingdom
273 posts
Joined: Apr, 2004
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Posted - 2004/05/27 : 15:28:27
A blonde walks into a library and asks a librarian
'Can i have some fish and chips please'
The librarian looking puzzled says
'You do know this is a library dont you?'
The blonde then replies sorry and whispers quietly
'can i have some fish and chips please'
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bigmaddaz
Senior Member
United Kingdom
330 posts
Joined: May, 2004
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Posted - 2004/05/27 : 15:37:42
HARDCORE NEVER DIES!!!!
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HARDCORE NEVER DIES!!!!!
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bigmaddaz
Senior Member
United Kingdom
330 posts
Joined: May, 2004
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Posted - 2004/05/27 : 15:58:54
A guy walks into a bar down in Alabama and orders a Grape Nehi.
Surprised, the bartender looks around and says "You ain't from around here... where you from, boy?".
The guy says, "I'm from Pennsylvania."
The bartender asks, "What do you do up in Pennsylvania?"
The guy responds, "I'm a taxidermist."
The bartender asks, "A taxidermist... what the hell is a taxidermist?"
The guy says "I mount dead animals."
The bartender smiles and shouts to the whole bar, "It's OK boys, he's one of us.
HARDCORE NEVER DIES!!!!
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HARDCORE NEVER DIES!!!!!
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bigmaddaz
Senior Member
United Kingdom
330 posts
Joined: May, 2004
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Posted - 2004/05/28 : 09:53:45
Anyone who has ever had a loved one in the hospital will enjoy
this:
A woman called a local hospital.
"Hello. Could you connect me to the person who gives information
about patients.
I'd like to find out if a patient is getting better, doing
as expected, or getting worse."
The voice on the other end said, "What is the patient's name and
room number?"
Sarah Finkel, room 302."
I'll connect you with the nursing station."
3-A Nursing Station. How can I help You?"
I'd like to know the condition of Sarah Finkel in room 302."
Just a moment. Let me look at her records.
Mrs Finkel is doing very well. In fact, she's had two full meals,
her blood pressure is fine, to be taken off
the heart monitor in a couple of hours and, if she continues this
improvement, Dr. Cohen is going to send her
home Tuesday at noon."
The woman said, "What a relief! Oh, that's fantastic... that's
wonderful news!"
The nurse said, "From your enthusiasm, I take it you are a close
family member or a very close friend!"
Neither!
I'm Sarah Finkel in 302! Nobody here tells me shit.
HARDCORE NEVER DIES!!!!
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HARDCORE NEVER DIES!!!!!
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Charco
Advanced Member
Ireland
1,979 posts
Joined: Nov, 2001
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Posted - 2004/05/28 : 13:34:36
lmao!! haha 
- -
Human beings, vegetables, or comic dust, we all dance to a mysterious tune, intoned in the distance by an invisible player.
Who discovered we could get milk from cows, and what did he THINK he was doing at the time?
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Unity and Peace
Go Here: http://www.ionosphere.co.uk or here: http://www.sbthq.net . Happy? You should be!! And of course: My tunes: http://www.acidplanet.com/artist.asp?songs=230636&T=6580
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Dean86
Senior Member
United Kingdom
273 posts
Joined: Apr, 2004
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Posted - 2004/05/28 : 13:45:18
Ha ha ha ha ha
too funny
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dj_excy
Advanced Member
United Kingdom
2,004 posts
Joined: Jun, 2004
205 hardcore releases
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Posted - 2004/06/08 : 11:05:41
CNN Late Breaking News!
It has been reported that Osama bin Laden was captured this morning at 4:22 AM Pacific Standard Time by US Special Forces.
The prime suspect of the recent terrorist attack on the World Trade Center in New York City, bin Laden was captured at gunpoint as he fled an underground passage in a remote mountainside of southern Afghanistan.
Northern Alliance troops, who witnessed the events unfold, explained that moments earlier United States war planes had sprayed liquid Viagra across the southern Afghanistan countryside, and the little prick just popped up!
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Live Every Tuesday 7-8pm uk time
www.Kniteforce-Radio.com
Hardcore is Life!
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dj_excy
Advanced Member
United Kingdom
2,004 posts
Joined: Jun, 2004
205 hardcore releases
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Posted - 2004/06/08 : 11:26:08
The organs of the body were having a meeting, trying to decide who was in charge. Each organ took a turn speaking up:
Brain.... I should be in charge because I run all body functions.
Blood...I should be in charge because I circulate oxygen for the brain.
Stomach...I should be in charge because I process food to the brain.
Legs... I should be in charge because I take the brain where it wants to go.
Eyes...I should be in charge because I let the brain see where it's going.
A*shole...I should be in charge because I get rid of your waste.
All the other parts laughed and made the ******* very mad. To prove his point, the a*shole immediately slammed tightly closed and stayed that way for 6 days, refusing to rid the body of any waste whatsoever.
Day 1 - Brain got a terrible headache and cried out for relief.
Day 2 - Stomach got bloated and began to ache terribly.
Day 3 - Legs got cramps and became unstable.
Day 4 - Eyes became watery and vision became blurred.
Day 5 - Blood became toxic and poisoned the body.
Day 6 - The other organs agreed to let the a*shole be in charge.
The moral of the story:
No matter who you are, or how important you think you are, you will find that it is always the A*SHOLE that is in charge.
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Live Every Tuesday 7-8pm uk time
www.Kniteforce-Radio.com
Hardcore is Life!
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Edited by - dj_excy on 2004/06/08 11:29:56 |
dj_excy
Advanced Member
United Kingdom
2,004 posts
Joined: Jun, 2004
205 hardcore releases
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Posted - 2004/06/08 : 11:32:09
Q: What's the difference between cricketers and condoms?
A: Cricketers drop the catches and condoms catches the drops.
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Live Every Tuesday 7-8pm uk time
www.Kniteforce-Radio.com
Hardcore is Life!
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