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arpz
Advanced Member
United Kingdom
1,267 posts
Joined: Aug, 2012
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 Posted - 2017/08/12 : 23:43:18
I wrote this short story thing cause I got the idea into my head. Can you guys read it and tell me how it made you feel? It's only a draft so appreciate any suggestions
Monday to Friday
I?m gonna tell you a story about how I ruined my life.
I?ve been in this job for about four years now, it?s not really ideal but it pays the rent. I don?t really speak to anyone in this place, to be honest. There used to be a bloke Dave here that I got on well with but he left about six months ago and now my existence consists of clocking in at midday, working til about five, an hour for lunch and then carry on til ten. The same thing every day. It?s just data entry, I get these print outs from parking machines and enter the values into a database.
It?s usually the same routine in the evenings, I?ve got my own flat with a kitchen and a bathroom so I can?t really moan too much, there?s definitely people that have got it worse. When I?m done at work I come home, microwave something and then settle down with a can in front of my laptop.
The problem with working so late is that there?s never anything on the TV when you get in. I?ve got loads of channels but there?s only so many times you can watch the same episode of Only Fools & Horses. That?s alright though cause I?ve got my laptop.
I can?t get enough of the soaps.
That?s what I do when I get in, I watch the soaps. I watch the soaps until about half twelve and by then I?m feeling pretty tired.
Monday was pretty much the same as always, woke up about eleven and then rushed to get ready for half eleven when I left the house. Got to work, clocked in, sat down and started putting the numbers in. By the time it got to five I was feeling a bit peckish. Decided to treat myself so the night before I got some little prawns and made up a bit of a prawn salad for my lunch. Tasted exactly the same as the prawn salad sandwich that I normally buy from the shop and cost a bit more but there?s something about doing it yourself that makes it better, ya know?
Got home about half ten, sat down at the laptop, loaded up the iPlayer. I?ve been loving Eastenders lately. They?ve changed something on the site, couldn?t really put my finger on it but it looked different, clicked on ?Play? and this message popped up asking if I had a TV license, clicked on ?I have a TV license? and it started. I suppose that?s why the site looked different, probably spruced it up a bit when they added that message in. It was a pretty mundane episode but they usually are on Mondays ? something usually happens on a Thursday or Friday and it?s all calm after that.
I don?t know why but on Tuesday I woke up late. Not ridiculously late but it was enough that I was jogging to the door. There was this bloke from marketing holding the door open for me, I?ve seen him in the break room chatting with people but don?t know what he?s called.
?Alright, Mark, you alright??
Took me by surprise to be honest. I never speak to anyone in this place.
?Yeah not too bad mate, you OK??
It sounds stupid but the day went a little bit quicker. I felt guilty for not knowing his name but it was nice to think that someone in this place knew mine. Not that we had had an amazing conversation or anything like that but it was a bit of interaction at least, better than it normally was.
Didn?t have any time to make anything so I went to the shop and got the prawn sandwich. Even the shopkeeper seemed a bit more cheerful than normal, probably sensed that I was in a good mood or something. Anyway, I took the sandwich back to the car park and it was delicious, tasted exactly like Monday?s.
When I got home it was the usual situation, I turned on the laptop and cracked on with the soaps. I love the soaps, seriously. A couple of cans and the soaps. It?s nothing special but there?s definitely people that have got it worse. I watched corrie and Hollyoaks first, sometimes I mix it up like that and save Eastenders til? last. I loaded up iPlayer and typed in ?E, A, S?, that?s enough to make it fill out the rest. Clicked on the latest episode and that messaged popped up again. It seems pointless having a TV license when I never actually watch TV. There?s never anything on when I get in. I suppose they?ve got to put some kind of message though.
And that?s pretty much how the week continued, the same as all the other weeks. I thought about emailing Adam, I looked him up on the work email system (there?s pictures of all the employees next to their names) but thought it might look a bit weird so decided to just wait for another chance encounter. At least I knew his name, would probably just be able to say ?Alright Adam?? and hold the door for him or whatever. Wednesday wasn?t great to be honest, the prawn sandwich was alright but there?s no Eastenders so I usually end up getting an early night. It doesn?t stop me catching up on corrie & Hollyoaks though. I wondered why ITVPlayer and 4OD don?t have any messages about the TV license. It?s obvious though, it?s because of the adverts.
On Thursday I arrived on time, and so did Adam. I held the door open.
?Alright Adam??
?Yeah I?m OK mate, got a bit of a bollocking yesterday for being late so thought I?d make the effort. You alright??
?Good thanks.?
I suppose we kind of were mates in a way, not that we?d had an amazing conversation or anything but he?d say Hello if he saw me in town I reckon. Not that I?ve been to town lately but even so. The prawn sandwich seemed to taste better today again, I put some music on instead of the usual talk radio. The day went quicker, it was nice that someone was talking to me. Just a bit of interaction in passing made all the difference.
When I got home I cracked open a can and got started on Eastenders. The message popped up about the TV license again, I don?t really know why it can?t just remember what your choice is, I always clicked ?I have a TV license? so it seems stupid that it has to keep asking. I did sort of wonder what would happen if I clicked on ?I don?t have a TV license? but I just wanted to get on with the episode. It was really good, things were ramping up, obviously the revelations were going to happen on Friday but it did a good job of building up the suspense.
Adam was on time again on Friday morning, I held the door open and we walked into the building.
?Alright Adam??, I asked
?Yeah not bad mate, been upto much??
We were mates now, it was obvious, anyone seeing it would?ve said we were mates. We started walking up the stairs and I started to tell him about the episode of Eastenders and what I thought was going to happen. I said to him about how they always do the big reveals on a Friday and that I thought it was all going to come out about the affair.
?You watch Eastenders yeah??
?Nah sorry mate, not really into the soaps?
Friday went really slowly. I felt like a bit of a knob after I?d said that, I don?t know why I went into so much detail really, he probably thinks I?m a right idiot. He only asked what I?d been up to, anyone else would?ve just said ?Oh you know, the usual?, or something along those lines. The prawn sandwich wasn?t very good either. When it rains, it pours.
Finally it was time to go home, it was pissing it down with rain but the traffic wasn?t too bad, it never really is at that time. I got in and cracked open a can and sat down in front of the laptop. I loaded up the iPlayer, typed in ?E, A, S? and clicked on the episode.
I wondered what would happen if I clicked on ?I don?t have a TV license??, it?s not like armed police were going to show up and arrest me for all the previous watching that I?d done.
I clicked on it.
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soundcloud - http://soundcloud.com/arpz // site -
http://arps.io
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kotu
Senior Member
United Kingdom
401 posts
Joined: Oct, 2014
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 Posted - 2017/08/16 : 13:11:17
"I can?t get enough of the soaps."
The story up til this point was acceptable but at this point I realised the main character was a complete ****in wanker and I lost sympathy for him.
I may attempt to finish reading this story later, but I ****ing doubt that.
YOU WANKER
unless it was neighbours and home and away
BLEAH
is this the first main effect you wanted the story to have?
back later, maybe
****
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arpz
Advanced Member
United Kingdom
1,267 posts
Joined: Aug, 2012
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Posted - 2017/08/16 : 21:25:56
quote:
Originally posted by kotu:
"I can?t get enough of the soaps."
The story up til this point was acceptable but at this point I realised the main character was a complete ****in wanker and I lost sympathy for him.
I may attempt to finish reading this story later, but I ****ing doubt that.
YOU WANKER
unless it was neighbours and home and away
BLEAH
is this the first main effect you wanted the story to have?
back later, maybe
****
Not exactly...no. It's supposed to be humorous
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soundcloud - http://soundcloud.com/arpz // site -
http://arps.io
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kotu
Senior Member
United Kingdom
401 posts
Joined: Oct, 2014
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 Posted - 2017/08/24 : 02:31:14
well.. my view is //... at eh moment - it's pretty dark ...\\
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kotu
Senior Member
United Kingdom
401 posts
Joined: Oct, 2014
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 Posted - 2017/08/31 : 16:24:15
Well, I finally read the rest of it, reminds me of a friend of mine, quite good actually!
EXCEPT
All your apostrophes seem to have been replaced by question marks.
Sorry mate
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kotu
Senior Member
United Kingdom
401 posts
Joined: Oct, 2014
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 Posted - 2017/08/31 : 17:49:36
why not just put a kris ludds quote..
"i am shit"
i am a quality controller for ridley scott
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