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Future_Shock
Advanced Member
Australia
2,483 posts
Joined: Apr, 2007
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 Posted - 2012/09/01 : 17:24:12
Yep i'm all over the shop.
ALL criticisms welcome. Even if you just don't like it. I'm pretty skeptical about it myself! I actually wrote it about a major life event that happened to me, but that doesn't matter - if it's crap tell me it's crap!
Made some changes. Scrapped most of it. I listened to all the criticisms and this is what i came up with. It's about half as long as the other one and nowhere near finished, but i just wanted to see if this ... communicates the point.... (for lack of a better phrase) better.
http://soundcloud.com/andy-influx/piano-8
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Edited by - Future_Shock on 2012/09/05 23:50:14 |
Samination
Advanced Member
Sweden
13,153 posts
Joined: Jul, 2004
195 hardcore releases
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Posted - 2012/09/01 : 20:02:50
Seriously, I would kill to see Hellsystem do a gabber version of this :P
Would you mind if I sent him the link?
Other than not sounding like (typical) classical, I like it
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Happy, UK Hardcore, Freeform, Makina and Gabber
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Edited by - Samination on 2012/09/01 20:04:34 |
whispering
Moderator
Finland
8,453 posts
Joined: Nov, 2002
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Posted - 2012/09/01 : 20:21:11
The second half minute (which comes back later in the song) sounds like a wannabe Requim for a dream (Clint Mansell "Lux Aeterna"). Yet unlike Clint, the sounds you used were almost comical. As a whole it sounds flat. If you can make those parts less comical and more dramatic it would really make the worlds difference. Maybe add more instruments there then just the piano, like drums or something. Maybe keep the lead piano and add more balls to the background? Contrast to the gentle piano parts ...or maybe thats not what you're going for?
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Edited by - whispering on 2012/09/01 20:28:40 |
Ionosphere
Advanced Member
United Kingdom
3,750 posts
Joined: Dec, 2004
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Posted - 2012/09/02 : 01:01:28
It starts off OK mate but it's a bit of a one horse trick 'cos it doesn't evolve into the full story, just repeats itself and becomes boring.
Loads of potential though.
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This- http://www.discogs.com/artist/Ionosphere
THIS - http://soundcloud.com/ionosphere
VIDEO - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5nYWkHCkaho
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Future_Shock
Advanced Member
Australia
2,483 posts
Joined: Apr, 2007
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Posted - 2012/09/02 : 01:23:53
Thanks lads. Obviously needs loads of work. This is exactly the feedback I was looking for thanks.
@whispering I wanted to avoid the whole drums/strings/epic thing. I do think it needs to evolve more so we'll see what happens
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Josephson_Junction
Advanced Member
United States
512 posts
Joined: Jan, 2012
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Posted - 2012/09/02 : 01:29:10
A piano piece? Aye, that's the good stuff! This does have quite a bit of potential and I'd like to see it fleshed out like others have said.
Just a tip, since you're working with only one instrument, try to make as much usage of dynamic range as you humanly can via note velocity. A single note that's a higher velocity than others can make a big difference. Also, unless you want pure piano, you could also throw in some reverb effects and possibly modify it in sections of the song.
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Future_Shock
Advanced Member
Australia
2,483 posts
Joined: Apr, 2007
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Posted - 2012/09/03 : 07:27:35
quote:
Originally posted by whispering:
The second half minute (which comes back later in the song) sounds like a wannabe Requim for a dream (Clint Mansell "Lux Aeterna"). Yet unlike Clint, the sounds you used were almost comical. As a whole it sounds flat. If you can make those parts less comical and more dramatic it would really make the worlds difference. Maybe add more instruments there then just the piano, like drums or something. Maybe keep the lead piano and add more balls to the background? Contrast to the gentle piano parts ...or maybe thats not what you're going for?
Yeah i know the song. I can see where you drew ties between them. Wasn't intentional.
What do you mean by comical? I really wanted to avoid adding other instruments and make it JUST a piano track. So any ideas how to achieve what you're saying?
quote:
Originally posted by Ionosphere:
It starts off OK mate but it's a bit of a one horse trick 'cos it doesn't evolve into the full story, just repeats itself and becomes boring.
Loads of potential though.
I completely see where you're coming from. This is literally first draft, i completely agree with what you're saying about it now evolving into the full story. I felt exactly the same way. This is new to me though i've never done a piano track. It's so hard writing for two hands without being able to play it haha.
quote:
Originally posted by Josephson_Junction:
A piano piece? Aye, that's the good stuff! This does have quite a bit of potential and I'd like to see it fleshed out like others have said.
Just a tip, since you're working with only one instrument, try to make as much usage of dynamic range as you humanly can via note velocity. A single note that's a higher velocity than others can make a big difference. Also, unless you want pure piano, you could also throw in some reverb effects and possibly modify it in sections of the song.
Yeah i'm just going for pure piano, but the velocities are all varied quite dramatically. I don't actually think it's velocity that's making it sound flat, i think it's the notes like whispering and iono said. I pretty much don't deviate from the same half octave for each hand and i think that needs to be varied.
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Ionosphere
Advanced Member
United Kingdom
3,750 posts
Joined: Dec, 2004
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Posted - 2012/09/04 : 09:04:07
quote:
Originally posted by Andy_Influx:
This is new to me though i've never done a piano track. It's so hard writing for two hands without being able to play it haha.
If the music means something to you mate, it'll come together. Keep us posted on your progress. :)
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This- http://www.discogs.com/artist/Ionosphere
THIS - http://soundcloud.com/ionosphere
VIDEO - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5nYWkHCkaho
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Future_Shock
Advanced Member
Australia
2,483 posts
Joined: Apr, 2007
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Posted - 2012/09/05 : 23:53:48
quote:
Originally posted by Ionosphere:
quote:
Originally posted by Andy_Influx:
This is new to me though i've never done a piano track. It's so hard writing for two hands without being able to play it haha.
If the music means something to you mate, it'll come together. Keep us posted on your progress. :)
It does. A lot. It's a different thing writing a whole piano piece without a piano and concentrating on just one instrument. But what i'm writing about affected me SO greatly that it turns out i need help communicating the message. Hopefully by the end everyone will understand what i dont want to (shouldn't have to) say.
Anyway i listened to all the criticisms and such. Scrapped most of it (it was crap). It's now only about half as long and about half as finished but i feel what i changed is largely for the better. Would love to hear people's thoughts. Any thoughts.
Most other people just keep telling me it's good. That's not what i'm after. If you enjoyed it, fine, but i'm looking to improve it. If you don't have anything to say about the actual writing (we're not all songwriters or can convey criticisms as such) at least tell me if it made you feel anything, or the theme you felt, or what it reminded you of. THAT'S the best feedback.
Cheers lads.
http://soundcloud.com/andy-influx/piano-8
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Edited by - Future_Shock on 2012/09/06 03:35:26 |
Dante
Advanced Member
Vatican City State (Holy See)
1,185 posts
Joined: Dec, 2009
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Posted - 2012/09/06 : 03:10:10
Some things are better or more easily expressed via music. Sure, everyone will interpret things differently, but music can express a lot of things words can't. My head has been full of noise for some time now, which is probably why I'm drawn to artists like Knife Party and Skrillex. I think one is naturally drawn to sounds and music that either resonate with what's going on inside one's own head, or something completely different as a form of therapy and self preservation. Yes, deep psychological hypothesising, I know. ;p
Some of the most powerful pieces I've heard are composed on and for solo piano; it's probably the most versatile instrument in the world. For instance, check out Scriabins etude in D# minor, op. 8 no. 12, see how it dances between dark and light.
I can't really provide very good feedback on your piano piece, as I have ~zero experience with composing on solo piano, but I think I understand the theme your trying to express, even if the "words" are too blurry. I like how some parts are pianissimo while others build up into forte, and that some places it's only single notes while other places it's all chords.
If you do feel like talking in more conventional ways, never hesitate to contact me on PM or Facebook chat. I know I write mostly bollocks here and on public areas of Facebook, but I am actually introvert as fuck, so I think about a lot of things all the time, and I have a deep and genuine concern for the well-being of others, even if I don't know them very well. The result is I'm a pretty good listener (reader if it's text-based communication), and I can also relate to most painful thoughts and feelings.
I'm Fredrik Nodland.
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Lilley
Advanced Member
Australia
3,740 posts
Joined: Jul, 2006
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Posted - 2012/09/06 : 05:22:05
I haven't got much to say at the moment, only had a cursory listen. How are you recording it?
My first thought is that the bass line is in need of more. Particularly with the last half, it's a very simple treble and a very simple bass. I;m thinking the bass is to high, by half an octave maybe or more. Would a key change be suitable, or just drop an octave. Secondly, you need more happening in the treble to provide embellishment to the bass. If you don't want to use other instruments to fill you definitely need more happening in the top end. Hope that helps some.
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nearly in line....
.....strange continuity problems
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Edited by - Lilley on 2012/09/06 05:29:00 |
Hard2Get
Advanced Member
United Kingdom
12,837 posts
Joined: Jun, 2001
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Posted - 2012/09/06 : 12:27:28
Really good melody (regardless of what it's supposed to be). The right notes are harmonised at the right time. It's just ironic that it's also not a Hardcore (or similar) song too as if it was it would be a far better melody than anything I've heard for a long time. I only just listened as well by the way so i assume what i heard is different from the original, just to be clear.
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Edited by - Hard2Get on 2012/09/06 12:30:14 |
whispering
Moderator
Finland
8,453 posts
Joined: Nov, 2002
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Posted - 2012/09/06 : 15:22:36
quote:
Originally posted by Andy_Influx:
What do you mean by comical?
You know when they play piano on a farce or comedy, it sounds happy/comical. I mean the actual sound of the piano, not the melody.
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Ionosphere
Advanced Member
United Kingdom
3,750 posts
Joined: Dec, 2004
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Posted - 2012/09/06 : 21:26:09
Better but I think that you're saying too much too soon at the start, ie; leave some notes out to begin with to create anticipation.
Difficult to explain mate but of course, if I had the midi file, with a promise not to nick it, I'd be happy to mute the notes in question as an illustration and send it back....
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THIS - http://soundcloud.com/ionosphere
VIDEO - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5nYWkHCkaho
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redwingz
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United Kingdom
2,483 posts
Joined: Jan, 2005
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Posted - 2012/09/06 : 21:41:16
Nice work so far! where it goes quiet (around 52 seconds) I would have liked to hear a violin string section or something in the background just to add to the next part. I think some light strings could add to the emotion of the track, unless its intended as a piano only track of course :)
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Euforix
New Member
Denmark
30 posts
Joined: Aug, 2012
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Posted - 2012/09/21 : 09:26:40
quote:
Originally posted by Ionosphere:
It starts off OK mate but it's a bit of a one horse trick 'cos it doesn't evolve into the full story, just repeats itself and becomes boring.
I completely agree with this. The melody repeats itself too much and it sounds more like a melody for an EDM tune, not classical.
If that track should be categorized I'd say it's more like downtempo/chillout.
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Who says I can't like HHC, 90s EDM and classical music at the same time?!
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